In A Heartbeat- oneshots
by TwistedRocketPower
Summary: Random moments of things that happened in-between everything that you read in In A Heartbeat.
1. Gone Fishing

_"We really suck at this, don't we?"_

Fishing. They were going fishing. He and his father were going fishing.

"_Fishing_, Kurt."

"Yes, I know. You've said it a couple hundred times over the past few days."

"But... _fishing!_"

Kurt sighed, leaning back into the chair he was occupying in Blaine's kitchen. Diane was currently at the country club with her friends, and Nathan was at work, so Blaine had Kurt come over for a lunch date. They had only just begun eating their pasta when Blaine couldn't hold in his distaste for fishing any longer. Kurt was actually fairly surprised he had lasted that long.

"Blaine, why don't you just _tell_ him you don't wanna go?"

"And break his just-now-mending heart? Who do you take me as?"

"_Blaine."_

"No, Kurt. You didn't see his face when he came into my room to talk to me. He looked like he hated himself. I mean, sometimes I feel like he should feel bad for some of the stuff, but he's trying now. He's trying to fix it, and to do better. Yes, his first idea for bonding sucks, but I couldn't break his heart."

Kurt smiled fondly at Blaine, turning his head slightly to the side and sighing.

"What?" Blaine asked, looking confused.

"Nothing, nothing."

"O...kay. Why are you looking at me like that then?"

Kurt sighed again. "You're just so sweet and kind."

Blaine snorted. "You're insane. Eat your food."

"My boyfriend's the nicest, sweetest, cutest, and _bestest_ son around."

"Stop, Kurt," Blaine whined, looking down at his food.

"And the shyest."

"Okay, that's it." Blaine reached over, picking up Kurt's plate of food. He began moving it toward him when Kurt grabbed it, eyebrows furrowing.

"What are you doing?"

"If you're not going to eat it, I will. It's amazing, if I do say so myself."

Kurt glared at him. "Take it and die," He said in a low tone, then he paused and added kindly, "Sweetie."

"There's the Kurt I know," Blaine replied, releasing Kurt's plate and letting them go back to their lunch.

* * *

"Wow. It's beautiful, isn't it?"

Blaine nodded. "It really is," He agreed, looking out at the lake. It truly was beautiful. Not just the lake, but the sky as well. It was a perfect day for fishing... Or, at least Blaine guessed it was. He didn't really know what good fishing weather looked like.

They found a good fishing spot and got settled. Blaine let his dad take the lead on everything, since he had no idea what he was doing.

"I bought some worms for us at the store yesterday," Nathan said, taking a container out of his bag and setting it between them. "Open it up and get one, I'll hook them."

Blaine took the container and opened it, then promptly yelled and threw it on the ground. "Oh my God!" He exclaimed.

Nathan jumped. "What! What is it? What happened?"

"They're alive!"

Nathan put a hand to his chest and took a few deep breaths. "I know that, Blaine. It says it on the container. Jesus, you scared me to death."

"I didn't _read_ the container! I thought they'd be those neat looking, multi-colored things. Not... _that_."

"Well, now all of our _that _are getting away," Nathan replied as he put the poles he was holding over to the side and got up. He bent down beside the container and started to pick some of the worms up and place them back _into_ the container.

"Good," Blaine replied. "Run, little worms. Be free!"

Nathan paused and looked up at Blaine, who was watching some of the worms wiggle away. He put the container back down, laying it sideways for the rest of the worms to get out. "How about we use fake bait?"

Blaine smiled. "That would be better. Do you have the-"

"Neat looking, multi-colored things? Yes, I do."

"Yay!"

Nathan settled back down beside Blaine. He got out the fake bait and hooked each of their lines, then gave Blaine his pole.

"So, I just... toss it out there?" Blaine asked.

"Uh, yeah. Stand up first though."

Blaine stood and awkwardly threw his line out into the water, with Nathan following suit.

They were both silent for a moment before Blaine spoke, "Now what?"

"Now... we wait."

* * *

And they did wait. And wait. And _wait_.

Every time Blaine would feel a little nibble on his line, he'd hurry and jerk his pole back, bringing up absolutely nothing.

"It's okay. You'll get it," Nathan said after the fourth time it happened. "Just wait a little longer next time."

Blaine nodded, but the next time he felt the slightest nibble, he was jerking the pole back again.

Nathan hadn't gotten a bite at all, but after about two and a half hours of sitting and standing, he finally got something.

Both he and Blaine jumped up. Nathan began to lift his pole, and soon the fish was visible. However, the fish didn't seem to have a very good hold on the hook, and before Nathan could get it to him, it fell back into the water.

"Oh, thank God," Nathan said with a sigh of relief, letting out a deep breath as he sat back down.

Blaine's eyebrows furrowed. "What?" He questioned as he sat down beside his father.

Only then did Nathan seem to realize what he had said, "Oh, um, I just... I hate fishing. I don't know anything about it. I wasn't even sure I was doing this part right." Once he began making his confessions, he couldn't seem to stop. "These poles are just homemade chunks of wood that a friend made me a long time ago and I never used. I'm pretty sure most people use poles that actually have reels. I hate the thought of a hook sticking into a fish's mouth. I mean, that's gotta be painful, right? And when I picked out those worms, I apologized four times to them on the way home."

Blaine, who had been staring at his father with wide eyes since the beginning of the rant, turned his head toward the lake. He was silent for a minute, and Nathan was beginning to worry a little bit, then Blaine snorted. Soon he was bent over double laughing, clutching his stomach and trying to calm down.

Nathan wasn't exactly sure what he was laughing at, but seeing his son so happy made _him_ happy, so he began laughing as well.

Once they finally began to calm down, Nathan wiped at his eyes. "We really suck at this, don't we?"

"Fishing? Yes. Dad, why would you _ever_ think I'd want to go fishing?"

"Oh, God, I don't know. I just always heard co-workers talking about how they'd go fishing with their kids and it was_ so much fun_ and they_ had a great time_, so I thought that might work for us."

"Dad, I like sports, or music, or eating. I like almost anything, really. I don't, however, like fishing. You want to know what I've been thinking this whole time? I don't understand why live bait is so dull looking, but fake bait is so colorful? Like, do the fish see color or not? And how does one truly experiment to see if they see color? Do they hold out something without color and something with color and see which the fish go to? What if those fish just really like the colorless thing? Or vice versa? Or what if they just don't give a crap?

"Also, I would snap my pole up on purpose. No way did I want to be responsible for hurting one of those little guys' mouths. I would be devastated. I was terrified this entire time that I'd get something."

Nathan took a deep breath and smiled. "How about we pack this up, then go get something to eat, _then_ go to the dump and dispose of everything we own that is fishing related?"

"That actually sounds wonderful," Blaine replied, standing up so they could quickly get things done. "No seafood though."

* * *

They had a fantastic time at lunch, and even at the dump. They both made an easy promise that they would never go near the lake again. And they kept that promise... at least until late that night when Blaine realized someone else would find the worms and use them as bait themselves.

Once this registered with them, Blaine and Nathan quickly got dressed, leaving behind a confused Diane, to head back to the lake for what would be a mildly successful worm rescuing.

* * *

**Yay! First drabbly-oneshot thing! For a while I was trying to think what I'd want to write for the first oneshot, then I stopped thinking about it and this all came randomly rushing into my head. I hope you enjoyed! I decided to changed up the little quote thing at the top and do a line from what would be in the chapter, rather than a quote from the past or future.  
**

**Also, rating is not based on this chapter, because then it would just be a K.  
**

**tumblr: twistedrocketpower (I changed it from notalone88)**


	2. Pop-Tarts

**This goes along with the chapter Fudge in In a Heartbeat.**

* * *

_"There you are. Ha! Bet you thought you could get away from me, didn't you?"_

Kurt knew Blaine was sick. He also knew Blaine _wasn't_ sick with something like the flu or strep throat. No, it couldn't be that simple. He had read on the Internet how one who had gotten a transplant could go through bouts of depression and, with how Blaine had suddenly stopped texting him, he guessed that was what was going on.

And yes, knew the Internet wasn't the best place to gather information, but it wasn't like he just went to Wikipedia. He went to multiple, _reliable_, Internet sources.

And now here he was, heading to the store before going to Blaine's place. It was odd, really. In the back of his mind he knew he should just let Blaine be; leave him alone until he was ready to see him again. But he couldn't do that. There was a much larger, nagging part of his brain telling him to screw that and go see his friend.

The moment he allowed that part of his brain to take over, he got in his car and drove to the store. Because somehow he knew that, if one thing could help make Blaine feel better, it was Pop-Tarts. Not just any Pop-Tarts though. It had to be the triple fudge kind.

Once Kurt found a parking spot, he quickly hopped out of his car and practically speed-walked into the store. He couldn't seem to slow his feet down. He just wanted to hurry and get to Blaine.

When he got into the store, he looked up at the descriptions for each row until he found one that said breakfast cereals, breakfast bars, sugar, flour, and cake mix. Also known as aisle number eight.

He walked to the aisle, almost running into an old, angry looking woman in his haste, then quickly apologized as he continued on his way.

The Pop-Tarts, thankfully, were one of the first items on the aisle, so he didn't have to go far once he was there.

He began scanning his eyes over the different kinds, looking for the triple fudge. _Grape, chocolate chip, chocolate chip cookie dough, blueberry, iced strawberry, plain strawberry- he smiled a bit at the memory of those- cherry... Okay, where's the triple fudge?_

Kurt heard someone clearing his throat and looked over to see another old, angry looking woman, armed with a cart, standing there staring at him, waiting for him to move so she could continue to the next aisle.

He moved out of her way, giving her a fake smile and mumbling a "sorry" while he thought about the fact that she was apparently incapable of politely saying "excuse me," instead of standing there and looking at him like he was the anti-Christ.

Once she was gone, and Kurt made sure there was no other angry, old women wanting to get by, he turned his attention back to the Pop-Tarts.

He looked over all of the different kinds again, and still didn't see any triple fudge. Now, if he was thinking clearly he might have just left and gone to a different store... But he wasn't and he didn't. He just wanted to get to Blaine, and he was determined to find the Pop-Tarts here!

So, leaving his dignity behind, he became one of those people that got down on their knees and searched for what they were wanting. One of those people who pushed other items aside and practically stuck their heads into the rack to get the exact item they were looking for. One of those "no, I will not simply buy the regular chicken noodle soup that's right in front of my face and instead I will risk my butt crack hanging out to grab the 50% less sodium kind that really isn't any healthier for me" people.

That thought made Kurt pause for a moment and reach back to make sure his shirt was still tucked in and his pants were completely covering his butt. Once he was assured that nothing was hanging out, he went back to his search.

_No... No... Wrong... Oh, is this- nope... No... I'm really starting to hate strawberry... N-_

"Can I help you?" A voice asked, bringing him out of his thoughts.

Kurt jumped slightly, then looked up to see a young girl, who obviously worked at the store, staring down at him.

"Oh, um... Do you have any triple fudge Pop-Tarts?"

The girl stared at him for a moment, then sighed, "Do you see any?" She said, and made it apparent to Kurt that it was simply her job to ask and she didn't _actually_ want to help.

"Yes, I see _tons_, that's why I'm sitting on the ground digging through boxes," He replied sarcastically.

She rolled her eyes. "If you don't see them, we don't have them."

Kurt stood, "You're telling me you have thousands of boxes in the back, filled with tons of different foods, but you don't have any Pop-Tarts?"

"I'll go back and check," she replied so unenthusiastically that Kurt knew he wouldn't see her again.

"Uh-huh, you go do that."

She walked off and Kurt rolled his eyes. He couldn't believe people sometimes. He didn't let her take up his thoughts for very long; he had more important things to do. Like find triple fudge Pop-Tarts.

He got back down on the floor and, once again, began looking through the different flavors to find what he needed.

He was very close to giving up, which made him angry. He felt like he was letting the Pop-Tarts win- and, yes, he realized how stupid that sounded- but if they weren't there, they weren't there.

He was down to moving his last few boxes when suddenly, like a beautiful light at the end of a very dark tunnel, was one single box of _Triple Fudge Pop-Tarts_. They were hidden behind a box of strawberry ones, which Kurt quickly pushed away.

"There you are. Ha! Bet you thought you could get away from me, didn't you?" He said with a witch-like laugh as he picked up the box. He then realized he was talking to a box of Pop-Tarts and looked around to make sure no one was nearby.

He couldn't get rid of the happiness he felt in the pit of his stomach, though. It felt like such an accomplishment. He didn't care how stupid it was to be proud over a found box of Pop-Tarts. He just pictured Blaine getting them and eating them and just being happy.

He'd do anything if it made Blaine happy.

* * *

**So, I got an iPad for Christmas (which I'm crazy excited about) and it turns out that it makes me write faster. I got this done in about an hour (us driving to and from a restaurant). I've always wanted something I could take with me in the car so I could write out my chapters, because the most time I have to do that is in the car... and now I have what I needed! Yay!**

**Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Thanks for reading and reviewing!**


	3. Depression

**I don't pretend to know a lot about depression, but I have had to (try my best to) help someone through it a few times when I was younger. The person still thanks me to this day, so I think I did okay, and I wrote sort of based on that knowledge. I also googled things. I hope this turned out okay. I'm nervous about this one.**

* * *

"_I just don't wanna feel like this anymore."_

One thing about depression is that it's not something you just grow out of. It's something you can get help for, and take medication for, and yes, you can overcome it, but it's not easy.

And for Blaine, trying to overcome depression passed difficult and went straight to impossible.

As happy of a person he was, there were times where he just wanted to stop _being_. He didn't want to deal with life, and he didn't want to accept _his_ life. Just the mere thought of the word 'life' made him feel exhausted. He would curl up under covers and hide from the world, opting to go with the 'If I don't see it, it doesn't have to exist' method.

Sometimes it came on slowly. He could tell it was happening. He'd look in the mirror and just know that, within a few hours to a day, it would happen.

And, with time, Kurt could see it too. It was as though it was written on Blaine's face. They'd be sitting at dinner, or watching a movie, or just taking a walk, and Kurt would say, "It's about to happen, isn't it?"

Blaine would nod, and Kurt would squeeze his hand and hold him a little closer in bed that night.

But, Kurt was about to find out that he wouldn't always be so lucky as to get a warning.

Kurt and Blaine both had a couple of days off of work and they had decided that, for their first day off, they'd go to the zoo, then see a movie.

When they got home they were exhausted, but happy. They showered together, then got ready for bed.

Blaine had wanted to be the little spoon, like he did five nights out of seven, and Kurt had gladly cuddled in close and wrapped his arm around Blaine's waist.

They laid and talked and laughed for a few hours before falling soundly asleep. It had been a wonderful day.

* * *

_Day One_

Kurt woke up around nine, then quietly snuck out so he could have a surprise breakfast made for Blaine when he woke up.

The thing with Blaine was, he had sort of an internal alarm clock that appeared during their first semester of college. If there was no alarm to wake him up, he woke up at 9:51 am, on the dot. It was weird, and Kurt often teased him about it, but secretly he loved it.

Kurt finished breakfast at 9:45 and kept everything warm while he waited for Blaine to begin to wake.

At 9:55, knowing that was the time Blaine actually got out of bed, Kurt snuck back into the room... To a seemingly still asleep Blaine.

His heart instantly fell. He knew what this meant, and he hated it. It made him nervous. He had always had a warning before. At least with a warning there was, well, a _warning_. He had always been prepared before. Now, he felt like he was starting from scratch.

Diane had warned him about this a long time ago. Before leaving for New York, she and Kurt had a long talk, and she told him that sometimes the depression came out of nowhere. It didn't happen too often, but it could happen.

Kurt pulled himself out of his anxiety and walked over to Blaine, "I know you're awake," He said softly, running his fingers through Blaine's hair- which, at the moment, was the only part of Blaine's body not hidden under covers. "Do you want any breakfast? I made your favorite."

There was no reply.

"Well, it's your favorite PopTart-less breakfast. I just didn't think Pop-Tarts would go with eggs, sausage and biscuits."

Still no reply.

"I know _you_ think Pop-Tarts go with everything, but I still don't."

Nothing.

Kurt continued to run his fingers through Blaine's hair. "Don't feel bad for not wanting to talk," He said, knowing Blaine did. They had discussed it before, after the first time it had happened in New York. Blaine had told him how he hated not talking to him, but when he got like that, he just didn't want to speak. He didn't want to do anything.

"I know you won't want to, but you're going to have to eat something. I'll bring you a smoothie later."

With that, Kurt bent down and gave Blaine a kiss on the top of his head, then left the room.

* * *

Kurt tried not to think too much as he put breakfast away. He had lost his appetite after seeing Blaine.

He just didn't understand. Yesterday had been such an amazing day. There had been nothing to suggest this would happen. It had been a perfect day.

Kurt sighed as he placed the dishes in the sink. Not thinking about the situation wasn't really working.

He took a deep breath. He wasn't new at this. Not with helping him through it. He was new with the "out of nowhere" thing, but he knew what he had to do. They'd get through it. They always did.

* * *

Kurt waited a couple of hours before making a smoothie and taking it in to Blaine.

When he got into the room, Blaine was still hidden underneath the covers. He had turned onto his other side, and Kurt could see how curled up he was from how the sheets fit around his form. It was as though he was trying to make himself as small as possible.

"Are you awake?" Kurt asked quietly. A simple movement of Blaine's foot was his reply.

"I made you a smoothie. Strawberry-kiwi." He sat it down on the nightstand, knowing Blaine wouldn't come out from under the covers and take it from him.

"I'll come back to get it in a little while. I love you."

With that, Kurt left. There wasn't anything he could do for Blaine right now.

He walked back into the kitchen and picked his cellphone up off of the counter, unplugging it from its charger. Knowing that neither he nor Blaine would be going into work this week, he decided to call a day ahead and let their bosses know.

They had both been blessed with wonderful jobs and excellent bosses who were completely understanding. For that, Kurt couldn't be more grateful.

After getting off of the phone, Kurt sat back on the couch and ran his fingers through his hair. He hated when Blaine got like this. It made him incredibly sad that he couldn't do anything to make him get better. At least, if he had strep throat or the flu, Kurt could give him medicine and make him soup and within a few days he'd be okay. But, with depression, Kurt just had to wait it out. All he could do was make sure Blaine ate and washed up. Also, Kurt had to make sure he gave Blaine an opportunity to speak every time he went into the room. The sooner Blaine started talking, the better.

He had tried a couple of times before to get Blaine to go see a psychologist, but Blaine refused each time. He wished he could force him to go, just so he could talk to someone who knew exactly what to do, but he couldn't. He had to be good enough. And that was a lot to take on sometimes.

Blaine's battle with depression hadn't seemed to worsen after moving from Ohio to New York. So far, the five times it had happened in the past two and a half years had been about the same as it was in Ohio.

Maybe it got a little harder to get Blaine to eat each time.

And maybe it got harder to get him to get up and shower.

And maybe it got more difficult to get him to talk.

But, other than that, it had been the same. Not worse. Kurt told himself that each time. They made it through before, they'll make it through now.

* * *

He left Blaine alone for a few hours, deciding to dust the house, and go through old magazines to throw away.

When he went back in to check on Blaine, the smoothie was still untouched. The ice had melted, and a few drips of the pink drink had spilled over the cup.

"Blaine, honey, you need to eat something," Kurt said, glancing over at the clock which read 1:43pm.

No response.

"At least let me know that you've gotten up to go to the bathroom."

Kurt waited for Blaine to pull a hand out from under the covers and sign him a yes or no.

It took about twenty seconds, but Blaine finally reached out and signed 'yes.'

"Okay, good," Kurt replied. "Do you want me to lay by you?"

'No.'

"Can you tell me what you do want?"

'Go.'

Kurt inwardly cursed the ASL course they took during their first year of college. "Okay, I'll go. But I'm coming back soon to check on you. And I'm bringing you food. And I want you to eat it, okay?"

Blaine tucked his hand back under the covers.

Kurt picked the smoothie up from the night stand with one hand and rubbed his eyes with the other. The day wasn't even half way over, and Kurt already felt exhausted.

After pouring the smoothie down the drain, Kurt took his cellphone and went out into their apartment hall, not wanting Blaine to hear his phone call.

Against Blaine's wishes, Kurt called Diane each time Blaine's depression appeared. Blaine had told him that he didn't want her to know, because he didn't want her to worry. But Diane had given him strict orders to make sure he told her each and every time. She knew Blaine wouldn't want her to know, but she would feel much better off knowing than hearing about it later... She also gave Kurt a look that could kill, so there was no way Blaine was winning that battle.

_"Hey, Kurt!"_

"Hi, Diane. How are you?"

_"I'm fine. You're obviously not."_

"You can hear it already?"

_"When did it start?"_

"When he woke up this morning. I went to surprise him with breakfast and all I could see was his hair."

_"No warning?"_

"No. No warning."

_"That hasn't happened with you before, has it?"_

"No. Anything I should know?"

_"Well, when it would happen that way with me, it seemed to go about the same way. It just seemed worse at first because there was no warning."_

"I'm nervous," He admitted before he could stop himself. "I mean, this isn't the first time we've gone through this here, but I'm still nervous."

_"That's completely normal, honey, but you'll do fine. You always do. And if you need me, I'll be there in a heartbeat, okay?"_

"Okay," Kurt replied, nodding even though she couldn't see. "I'll call you soon."

_"Alright. Love you both."_

"We love you, too."

The day seemed to go by in slow motion for Kurt. He tried three other times to get Blaine to eat, but Blaine never would.

He never spoke a word to Kurt either. Really, the only sign of life Kurt got from him the rest of the day was when he crawled into bed beside him, whispered an "I love you" and Blaine lifted his pinky, pointer, and thumb to sign 'I love you' back.

Kurt didn't sleep well that night.

* * *

_Day Two_

It's hard to wake up next to the love of your life and realize that, at this moment, the love of your life would rather not wake up. But, Kurt does it.

He stares at his boyfriend for a moment, still asleep, yet not looking peaceful in the least. His face doesn't look relaxed, and he's curled up so tightly that Kurt finds it hard to believe that he's comfortable.

No one truly knows how much Kurt worries about Blaine. Not only when the depression symptoms appear, but even when everything is fine.

It's not a constant worry, but it's there more days than it's not. He was worried that something would be said or done that would put Blaine into one of his bouts. He never was quite sure what would set him off, and Blaine honestly wasn't either. Sometimes there wasn't anything. It just happened. Kurt honestly didn't understand it. As much as Kurt wishes he were at times like these, he was not a psychologist. He'd taken a couple of psychology courses in his first year of college, but that was as far as his knowledge went in that area.

Kurt got out of bed, going quietly to not disturb Blaine, and headed to the bathroom.

After going to the bathroom, washing his face, and brushing his teeth, Kurt went to get his phone out of the kitchen.

He unplugged it from the charger and walked over to the living room, sitting down on the couch as he called his dad.

It was just passed eight o'clock, so he knew his dad would be up. He had probably been up for a couple of hours.

_"Hey, kid!"_ Burt answered happily.

"Hey, Dad. How are you?"

_"I'm good. How are you and Blaine doin'?"_

"We're good... Well, I'm good... Well, I'm- I'm actually not good, but-"

_"Kurt,"_ Burt interrupted,_ "What's up?"_

"Blaine's depressed."

It was silent for a moment, then Kurt heard his dad sigh. _"Tell me everything."_

"There was no warning. We had two days off. The day before yesterday was fantastic, but then when he woke up yesterday morning, he was just... It's just like he leaves and is replaced with this lifeless, shell of a person, Dad. He wouldn't talk all day yesterday, and he never ate anything. Barely drank any water. I think he only got up a couple of times to go to the bathroom. He didn't get a shower either." He paused to take a breath.

"I just... The internet only tells you so much, you know? I've read things on what I should do, and I've read things on what I should and shouldn't say, but that's not specified to Blaine. What if something that's right for someone else is wrong for him? I should be getting better at this, Dad, but I'm not. I've known him for five years, I've gone with him through these spells for five years, I should be better-"

_"Kurt, Kurt! You've got to calm down, son. First of all, you've always been excellent with Blaine. You always say the right things, so you don't need to worry about that."_

"But, I-"

_"I know, Kurt. Let me finish."_

Kurt sighed. "Okay."

"You and Blaine are both so young. Neither of you should have to go through this. Especially not alone. You need to find someone to talk to. Both _you_ and Blaine. I've read online that they have support groups, and it's not just for the person who suffers from depression. They have them for spouses and family members. Anyone."

"You've... You've looked it up? You know how to use a computer?"

Burt snorted._ "Well, Carole helped, but yes, I looked it up. I care about you both, and it hurts me when I hear you two are going through a rough time."_

Kurt rubbed his eyes. "I'm already tired and I just woke up."

_"This isn't good for either of you, Kurt."_

"I've tried to get him to see someone before, but he won't. I've asked him to go, and he says no, that he doesn't need it. I'm afraid that one day he's gonna hurt himself, and I can't..." His voice trailed off as tears filled his eyes.

_"Sometimes you can't just ask, Kurt. You have to give the person a push. He loves you, doesn't he?"_

"Of course."

_"Have you told him everything you've told me?"_

"Not... Not in so much detail. I never want him to feel like the way I feel is his fault."

_"Tell him everything, Kurt. He may need to feel that way to get the help he needs. I've seen the way he looks at you. If he knows he's hurting you by not getting help, then he'll get the help."_

"It's worth a shot, I guess."

_"I _know_."_

"I'll talk to him once he gets a little better. I wouldn't get very far right now."

_"Keep me updated, Kurt. Call whenever you need to."_

"Thank you, Dad. I love you."

_"Love you. Tell Blaine, too."_

"I will."

Kurt hung up, feeling a little better after talking to his father. He wasn't sure how today would go, but he hoped it would be an improvement from yesterday.

* * *

Around ten o'clock, Kurt heard what sounded like Blaine going to the bathroom. He inwardly thanked whoever might be listening that he didn't have to _remind_ him to go.

He finished up a smoothie he was making for Blaine, then headed into the room.

By the time he got there, Blaine was already back in bed. He was covered up to his neck, but his head poked out of the covers today. It was a slight improvement from yesterday.

"I brought you a smoothie," Kurt said, walking over to the nightstand and sitting it down. "You need to eat today, okay?"

"Kurt, I'm just not hungry, okay?" Blaine replied quietly.

Kurt's heartbeat sped up at the sound of his voice.

"I know you don't _feel_ hungry, honey, but you still need to eat something."

"Just... not right now."

Kurt took a deep breath and walked over to the other side of the bed, crawling in, and lying down on his side, to face Blaine.

"You wanna talk about it?"

"There's nothing to talk about."

"How about, how you're feeling?" Kurt watched as Blaine took a deep, slow breath in, and let it out.

"I just wanna sleep, Kurt. Go to work, I'll be fine."

"I'm not going to work, Blaine. You know that."

Blaine's droopy eyes looked at Kurt, "You don't need to be here," He replied. His voice was still quiet. He wasn't angry. He'd never once gotten angry at Kurt when he was depressed.

"I think I'm exactly where I need to be. And where I want to be."

"I'm tired, Kurt," Blaine said, sounding almost desperate.

Kurt reached out, running his hand through Blaine's hair, then stroking his cheek, "I know, cutie... I love you."

"I love you, too."

Blaine closed his eyes, slightly leaning into Kurt's touch, and quickly fell back asleep.

Kurt laid there for a while, continuing the soothing motion of running his fingers through Blaine's hair. If tears slipped down his face and fell onto his pillow, he didn't notice.

* * *

Another untouched smoothie, two pieces of now-cold toast, and a now-room temperature fruit salad later, Kurt had no idea what to do. It was almost nine o'clock, and Blaine had refused food all day.

Kurt had read before that sometimes it's good to give a person with depression a goal. Something small to do so they'll feel better once they've done it. He'd tried it with food already, and it didn't work. But, now he was hoping it would work with a shower.

"Just ten minutes, Blaine. So you can wash your hair, brush your teeth, and then change into different pajamas."

"Okay, okay. I'll get a shower," Blaine replied, rubbing his eyes as he sat up.

Kurt watched as he got his pajamas off of their bed- Kurt had already set them out- and went into the bathroom.

When the water came on, Kurt took his phone and went back to the living room.

_"Hello."_

"Diane, I need to ask you something."

_"Of course."_

"Have you ever had to take Blaine to the hospital?"

_"What do you mean?"_ She asked, her voice becoming extremely concerned.

"I've read that sometimes people have to be hospitalized when they go through depression, and I don't know if I need to do that."

_"Why, Kurt?"_

"He won't eat. He hasn't eaten for two days, and it just took me ten minutes to get him to get out of bed and into the shower."

_"It just keeps getting worse,"_ Diane said quietly, as though she were saying it more to herself than to Kurt.

"I know... Diane, I don't think this just has to do with the transplant. I mean, maybe it started out that way, but, I think this is just... part of him."

_"I know, Kurt, I know. I should have done something years ago."_

"Diane, I don't think anyone realized before. It's just gotten worse the past few years."

_"Do I need to come out there?"_

"No, no. Not right now."

They were both silent for a moment, then Diane spoke.

_"I've never had to have him hospitalized before, Kurt. But, if you feel that you need to, please don't hesitate. I'd rather be safe than sorry."_

"I know. I'll let you know what happens, okay?"

_"Love you both."_

"We love you."

Kurt heard the shower turning off as he hung up from talking to Diane. He knew tonight wouldn't be a good time to talk to Blaine, but he'd have no choice but to tomorrow. He wouldn't go through another day worrying about Blaine not eating or taking care of himself.

* * *

_Day 3_

Kurt scrambled Blaine eggs to try one last time to get him to eat. If this didn't work, then Kurt would have to make him choose between eating and going to the hospital.

He could be endlessly patient with talking to Blaine, and making sure he knew Kurt was there for him. He could handle the not talking, and the fact that he slept most of the day away. He didn't like it, but he could handle it.

But not taking food for three days is not something Kurt would just allow. It was too dangerous.

He put the eggs into a bowl, grabbed a spoon and a napkin, then headed into their bedroom.

When he got there, Blaine was turned on his side, facing away from the door, and had his hands covering his face.

Kurt could tell, by the sharp intakes of breath the Blaine was taking, that he was crying.

Kurt set the eggs on the dresser and practically speed-walked over to his side of the bed. He sat down and put his hand over Blaine's covered thigh.

"Honey, what's wrong?"

"I'm so... tired, Kurt," Blaine replied, hiccuping between words. "I'm... so... tired-"

"Blaine, you have to calm down. Take some deep breaths, okay?"

It took a few minutes, but Blaine's breathing evened out. He was still crying, but he was no longer hyperventilating.

"Can you sit up?" Kurt asked. He had scooted closer to Blaine and was now rubbing his back in small circles.

Blaine slowly sat up and Kurt retracted his hand, fixing the pillows behind Blaine so he'd be comfortable.

"I hate this, Kurt. I hate being like this. I hate it. I just don't wanna feel like this anymore."

Kurt's heart pounded. He had never heard Blaine this bad before. It sounded like he was just giving up.

"What do you mean, Blaine?"

"I _know_ I'm depressed, but I can't stop it, and I _want_ to. I want to so bad. I don't want to be a bother to you, and I don't want to hate getting up, or having to be bribed into getting a shower. I hate the thoughts in my head, and the way I'm feeling, and how no sleep is enough. It's _never_ enough."

He hung his head down, as though he was ashamed of himself.

Kurt, who had tears beginning to leak from his eyes, reached over and lifted Blaine's chin. "Blaine, we have to get help. We can't just do this you and me anymore."

"Kurt, please don't cry," Blaine replied, his eyes pleading like a puppy dog, and his chin trembling.

"I'm scared for you, Blaine. It scares me when you get like this, because I don't know what to do. I'm not enough to help you."

"You're perfect, Kurt. Please don't cry over me."

"Blaine, I get _terrified_ when you get like this. I'm so scared that something's gonna happen to you, and I can't deal with you not being here. We have to talk to someone."

"Kurt, I'm not crazy."

"I know that," Kurt replied, wiping a tear from his cheek. "And I'm not crazy either, but _I_ need someone to talk to too. We need to talk to a psychologist. We can go together, if you don't want to go alone, but we can't keep doing this. We're only twenty-one, Blaine. We're too young to be living this way. _Anyone's_ too young to live this way."

A tear fell from Blaine's cheek onto the sheets around his waist, "I'm scared, Kurt."

"Me too, honey. But we can get help and we won't have to be scared anymore. They even have support groups we can go to. It's not just for the person who suffers from depression, they have them for families too. I really want to go, and I'd love it if you'd go too."

Blaine took a deep breath, then nodded. "Okay. Okay, I'll go."

Kurt took a hold of Blaine's hand and squeezed, feeling so much relief. "Thank you so much. Now, will you _please_ eat for me?"

"I don't really feel hungry... But, I'll eat for you."

"Thank you, again. You're eggs are probably cold now, but I can make you more," Kurt said, knowing how Blaine hated reheated eggs.

Blaine nodded and Kurt got up off of the bed, heading over to the dresser to pick up the old eggs.

"Do we have Pop-Tarts?" Blaine asked suddenly, his voice quiet.

Kurt smiled, then turned and walked over to Blaine, kissing his forehead before replying, "Of course we do."

* * *

**It felt so good to get this finished. I haven't been writing much lately, and it felt so good to get back into the swing of it. Life's been crazy (but in a good way) so I haven't had much time. But, I have a lot of half-finished chapters that will hopefully be finished soon.**

**Also, on an unrelated note, I haven't even watched the last episode of Glee. I might wait until the end of the season until I continue on. I just haven't been all that impressed lately.**

**Anyway, visit me on tumblr! I never talk to anyone on there!**

**Tumblr: twistedrocketpower**


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